~my wish list~

i miss college. i miss the community that was at my fingertips. i miss coming home to 5 of my fav. ppl. during small group one night we made "bucket lists", things we hope to accomplish/fulfill in our lives. i decided to name my list "my wish list"-- bucket list sounded too morbid. i believe when you put something on paper there is a better chance of them happening. i have already gotten to cross off 3 things on my list :) if you don't have a "bucket list" i encourage you to do so...dare to DREAM BIG!!
My Wish List
~ ride a horse on the beach
~ have at least one child of my own
~ travel to italy,hawaii,australia,africa
~ live in a warm climate for at least one yr.
~ disneyland/world
~ swim with dolphins
~ stomp grapes at a winery
~ go to a wine tasting (did it)
~ another tattoo (did it- with a best friend)
~ walk in central park
~ run half-marathon (did it- last may)
~ see regis and kelly
~ grow a garden
~ walk the freedom trail in boston
~ marry my best friend
~ visit the beach with pink sand (bahamas)
~ dig for diamonds (there is a place u can actually do this)
~ grow a butterfly
~ live by a body of water
~ surf
~ active and athletic for the rest of my life
~ have my own family traditions
~ build a house (with my husband--ok i mean i will help)
~ cut down a real christmas tree
~ go to a osu fball game (did it- 50 yd. line with my bestie)
~ go on a cruise
~ snorkle....or attempt
~ couple's massage
~ have a truly breath taking moment
~ become a gma
~ be a part of someone else's dream
~ stay @ a bed and breakfast
~ plan a wedding
~ read the whole bible
~ spa for a day
~ renew my wedding vows....maybe every yr.
~ stay in bed for a whole day with my husband
~ go on a shopping spree
~ go sailing
~ life sponser to a child
~ hershey's factory
~ oprah show
~ have the house everyone comes to
~ buy someone's meal behind me in drive-thru line
~ hot air balloon ride

yearning for something more

it has been a year since i dated someone. and before that i dated someone all through college. being "just ashley" during this time has really helped to shape my life and has opened my eyes to what i really need in someone. being single has allowed me to be so blessed with the guy friends i do have in my life-- they are amazing examples of godly men- i could never settle for less-- so thank you :)

i recently started reading this book called "in search of the proverbs 31 man- the one god approves and a woman wants". the author states: never before has the search for real connection between the sexes been more important- or more confusing. single women want to know what they should ask for- not settle for- in a mate, while married women wonder how they can nurture godly character traits in their husbands. men, both single and married, wonder what women really want. both genders are long on questions and short on answers.

i'm not even through the first chapter yet but i want to share what i'm reading so far...
*as women have become more independent, self-sufficient, and powerful in the business world, i believe many have accepted the subtle lie that they no longer need men. the men, not knowing what is expected of them any longer, have largely abdicated(been forced to resign) their posts as leaders, protectors and providers.

*women have begun to groan under the weight of all they're doing and wonder why men no longer step up to the plate. weariness has set in. so has compromise. for the sake of having a man, countless women have begun to settle for a new, watered-down version of manhood. yet those women long for more.

*not realizing that low expectations of men further perpetuate the downward trend, women sigh, "oh well, men just aren't what they used to be".
- i beg to differ. i believe in every heart of every man is a desire to be the man his spirit knows he was created to be. yet staggering numbers of men fear rejection and so they settle for far less then what is required of them.

*our posture toward the men in our lives can dramatically affect the outcome of our relationships- single or married we first need to make sure our expectations are aligned with god's word.
- second, we need to understand the contribution we can make to nurturing god's possibilities and helping them become reality in our man's life.

*women do have an important part in completing a man and helping him become all the god created and designed him to be.
-for singles, there are guidelines on what to look for in a man and how to recognize god's man for you.
-if you go shopping for diamonds w/out any knowledge of what to look for, any diamond will look good. once you have been educated, however, you will make more careful choices.

*proverbs 27:17 says, "as iron sharpens iron, so one man (or woman) sharpens another". perhaps in this word picture we should say that a man and a woman can polish each other until they both shine as brilliantly as god intended. so don't get frustrated, the possibilities are endless...

* we are all works in progress. how long it takes you to complete the journey does not matter, but your commitment to continue onward and upward does. :)

beauty and the beast- cont.

beauty and the beast

i used the following video last yr. during a senior paper i wrote--the topic was eating disorders and the media. the media distorts natural beauty alll the time-- whether thru music, commercials, reality TV, magazines, pictures, etc. upon doing my research i couldn't believe how much technology like photo shop was used!! but we don't see that or know that by looking at the end product of something- we just know it looks real good! then, we try to achieve that look by spending hrs. in the gym, counting every calorie, skipping dessert(never a good idea ;)), dressing a certain way,etc.
wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all see ourselves the way Jesus sees us??
i'll be real honest with you, these past couple months upon having some panic attacks (a couple happening while running) i couldn't workout. exercise and eating right have always been a passion in my life, after work i would head to the gym b4 doing anything else- and when i had to chill out and not exercise i wondered what would happen. god has really used this time to make me even more comfortable in my own skin. i realized how much more there was to life then planning everything around if i worked out or not that day- seems silly to even type that.
we have to get real. im not saying to give up exercise or golf or whatever your thing might be but just be conscious of the impact it has on your life. what your real motives are driving you.

i named this blog "beauty and the beast" b/c we are all beautiful- yes, even you guys out there- and we all have a "beast" inside of us that makes us think otherwise. satan's biggest tool to use on us is doubt. he fills our head with lies. we have to bind the beast to those lies! god thinks you are the most beautiful before you even take a shower or brush your teeth- sick right? lol but he does, soo much!! own up to that :) look in the mirror and thank him!!!

a glimpse of me

these are in no particular order-- but a few things that bring a smile to my face :)

~sun on my face
~putting on a new chap stick/lip gloss
~eating ice cream
~loving on children
~walking through a garden
~putting new tunes on my ipod
~fresh cut grass
~sand between my toes
~Skype dates w/my best friend....w/out sound ;)
~working at Studio 187
~Dave Barnes
~any and all camp memories from Winshape
~Chick-fil-a
~GEORGIA
~monday night dinners
~my grandparents
~knowing i will see my dad again one day
~sunsets
~seeing text messages from my mom and step dad
~pictures
~smelling perfumes/cologne
~getting a pedi.
~hugging my brother- even though he's too cool for hugs
~traditions
~CHRISTMAS
~BIRTHDAYS
~sprinkles
~inside jokes
~spending time w/ppl who make me feel like i'm home
~driving w/the windows down on summer nights
~jumping on the bed
~dreaming
~regis and kelly--but mostly just regis
~old ppl!!!
~true love
~concerts
~cookouts
~snow days!!!
~accents

morph yourself

this past weekend was mother's day. i was really excited to go home this weekend to see my momma and the rest of my family for a cookout!! on sunday i decided to go to grace fellowship to hear kelly's husband, keith preach. it was sooo good :) keith has a lot of energy/passion when he preaches, which gets you pumped up just listening-- at one point i leaned over to kelly and asked what he had for breakfast lol.
something that really stuck with me from the sermon was when keith started talking about god and itunes. (i do not promise to quote this exactly ;) itunes can like read your mind, as soon as you start to type something in the search bar it has already come up with the exact title/artist you needed! oh you want jay-z? done! black eyed peas? which album? it does the work for you! so how is god like itunes? by his gracious giving of his son he made an inaccessible god accessible to ALL. jesus died on the cross for our sins, he did the hard work!! are you worrying about your future? done! if you are a follower of jesus he paid the price, your future is in his hands. there is nothing you can begin to say to god that he doesn't already know the answer to...but do we take the time to listen or do we still complain day to day and want someone to look upon our situation and feel sorry for us?
do you remember the story of the invalid who for 38 yrs. laid by the gate waiting for someone to help him get in the pool? and jesus came to him and said do you want to get well? and the man said sir, there is no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. while i am trying to get in, someone goes ahead of me.
so, you're telling me this guy just laid here for 30 some yrs. without trying to crawl or roll or anything to get in this pool?! dumb. jesus said to him get up! oh, and take your mat with you.

another really good point keith talked about was how we need to get good at morphing into the person another person needs us to be. meet them where they're at. i was convicted this weekend and today of this thought. a friend of mine was telling me how she was not excited about wearing a bathing suit this summer. and i suggested some things she could do and she wasn't really feelin them. so i said ok then i don't want to hear you complain about wearing a bathing suit if you're not willing to help yourself. i didn't say it out of harshness and we were half picking at each other but when i said that i didn't want to hear her complain she was done. and that night i felt convicted by it a little but i shrugged it off. then at church when i heard this message i related it to myself-- when i am talking to someone about having anxiety/panic and i just want comfort, to know everything is gonna be alright the last thing i would want them to say is just get over it, let it go. it's just not that easy. just b/c eating certain foods/exercise are things i enjoy doesn't mean it comes easy to everyone. i needed to meet my friend where she was and just listen, or give encouragement-- (so i'm sorry for not just being there for you and listening--you are beautiful always :) --jesus did this and so much more....he actually put on skin and morphed into a man to meet us in our brokenness.
my challenge to you is to morph yourself this week/weekend. it's not going to be easy but what could it do to your relationships? what if you put that person above yourself? what would the world look like if we all tried to love each other the way we love ourselves?? be bold!! get up and take your mat with you!!

i can't take credit for a lot of this blog ;) thanks for sharing your heart keith

a beautiful disaster

a disaster. that is what i feel my life has been the past couple months. god and some really awesome friends have corrected me in that i may be a disaster, but a beautiful disaster. you know we all have this "thing" that we never think will happen to us- and when it does we feel our world crash down around us. how can god allow us to suffer?? in isaiah 53:10-11 it says it was the lord's will to crush him and cause him to suffer...god willed for jesus to suffer. those are difficult words to understand. we don't want to believe it. after all, if god willed for his own son to suffer, he might want us to suffer too. and we're not sure if we are up for that calling. "isn't god loving?" we reason. "if so, why would he want us to suffer?" it doesn't make sense. shouldn't god want his children to live in a world w/out difficulties, disease or death? but god did create the world perfect and w/out suffering in a garden long ago. we all have an eden-like yearning b/c god created us to live there. but we sinned, and suffering was the penalty for sin. so, in this life we will experience both suffering and death. in fact, god actually intended for jesus to suffer during his earthly life so that we could be saved.
in romans, paul tells us to expect suffering on earth- and even to REJOICE in it. are u kidding me?? that's the last thing i can muster up the energy to do when i'm at the end of my rope. but that's where god wants us- at the end of our rope. why rejoice? b/c god uses it to produce perseverance, character and hope. god doesn't waste any suffering we experience. he uses it for our good if we let him.
god isn't callous to our suffering. he cares deeply. jesus showed us that when he came to earth. he healed those who were suffering. he wept b/c ppl were suffering. and now he has CONQUERED suffering. he is seated at the right hand of god.
we will suffer on earth, but the story doesn't end there. isaiah 53:11: "after the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life." that was true for jesus and it's true for all those who believe jesus is lord. your suffering, my suffering- is not the end of the story. if you are a believer, you will one day live in a PERFECT PLACE: "then i saw a new heaven and a new earth...there will be no more DEATH or MOURNING or CRYING or PAIN, for the old order of things has passed away" revelation 21:1,4
3 yrs. ago my dad passed away and 3 months ago i slowly began to suffer. and perhaps i have been suffering for longer but had been to busy to notice. i will be honest this has been one of the hardest things i have gone thru. imagine god chiseling and molding you-- it hurts. god is changing me from the inside out and even though it gets hard at times to see the light i know im not alone. i am so so blessed with the special ppl he has placed in my life during this season of my life. i have learned so far that it's OK to not have "it" all together. i'm not supposed to carry heavy burdens or depend on my own strength. i crave comfort- god is a god of comfort. the god of all comfort longs to take us in his arms and comfort us. i crave one more day w/my dad, for him to wrap me up in his arms and tell me it's all gonna be OK, i'm here.
i pray this message has encouraged you to rejoice in your suffering- to praise god thru the storms of this life. he has already gone before you and paved a way, this is not a surprise to him. he catches every tear that we cry and promises to walk beside us always. we never leave his hands.