can anyone hear me....

this was one of the toughest weeks.
i felt as though i was just jogging in place as fast as i could. getting nowhere. at night i wanted to just remove my mind so i could just have a few moments of peace.
Wed. was the beginning of Lent. the service at Vineyard was really good and much needed. i just couldn't get over the feeling of doubt. was i ready for this trip? what if all my support $ didn't come in? have i spent enough time with my family? when do i start packing? how will the concert go? a lot of distractions. (yet all week joyce meyer was preaching about coming boldy with confidence before the cross. ask and you shall recieve).
i found myself that night leaning on friends and just being honest with where i was. crying always releases something, refreshing, like OK- i can do this. up until this point in our journey nate was the one saying ash, i just don't know, how this is gonna happen? $1800 is a lot of money to raise. and that night he had this awesome peace from God that he shared and it was really encouraging to me- i still had to dig pretty deep to believe that everything would work out.
for the first time in a long time there was nothing, nothing i could do to make it better. i can't grow $$ on trees-- so the faithfulness of God and His ppl to give to nate and i has been truly amazing to witness.

fast forward to sat. night :) the extended melody project hosted a concert to benefit uganda/the orphange/the school -where we will be. 4 bands, over 200 friends, and somewhere around $1500 later my heart was overflowing :D
THANK YOU JESUS!!!! i am truly thankful for everyone who helped make sat. night a sucess-- you do not know how much your efforts are appreciated-- lives will be changed for generations b/c of your love and generous hearts to GIVE and be a part of something BIGGER than yourself. thank you.
SIGH :) LoVe

this wknd i also got to travel to upper sandusky to see my family :) walking into church today i was flagged down by a friend and past cheerleading coach. she is very near and dear to my heart-- she handed me an envelope with support money in it and while we were hugging i felt so greatful. so humbled. she believes in me. i could hardly tell her thank you i was so shook up. some of you may be reading this thinking really...you were crying... but yeah. i was. when you are brought to a place of full surrender by god and he blesses you- it does something.
ok illustration :) i will take u back to the childhood movie of The Grinch who Stole Christmas....remember the part where his heart grows and grows and grows?!! :) haha he just bursts with JOY!!! thats kinda how it feels... so to all of you who have supported me financially- you have made my heart grow ;) god is teaching me the true meaning of trust.